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about

I'm a full-time university student/part-time sales associate. I'm as different as they come but just like everyone else all at the same time. I'm big into movies 'n music, and definitely love to laugh. I wish that I could see my family more often, but I have a pretty rockin' roommate who keeps me entertained. I live a busy but simple life, and for the most part love ever minute of it.

archives

and you Sunday, July 30, 2006 |

turned my world upside down. And I love it. You have more faith in me than anyone (outside of family) ever has. You see amazing things in me. Things I can't seem to see in myself. You have hope for me, where I have little to none. Everytime our eyes meet, I feel that spark inside me grow. I feel alive. You, sweets, are worth waiting for. And I'm right here waiting.

EDIT 02-25-07: This entry was written when was I smitten. With a particular girl. A situation I'd really like to just forget. So, feel free to disregard this. I know I have.

green apples. toast and jam. cottoncandy. |

Wow. That was the longest day I've had in a while. I'm so tired of people undermining me, leaving me out-of-the-loop, and just plain forgetting about me. As much as I like my job, I have to say its really emotionally taxing to be given the responsibilities of a supervisor but none of the respect. The other team members are great, but damn, the rest of the management team are so far above me in the realm of things it leaves my position ('supervisor'), just that, a position. Maybe I am over-reacting, maybe not.

What I know is now. And now doesn't feel so good.

mood: anxious, depressed
music: Incubus - "I Miss You"


"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth." Friday, July 28, 2006 |

PART 1

1. What curse word do you use the most? shit
2. Do you own an iPod? nope, probably never will
3. Who do you IM the most? Ashley, Kim A, mom
4. What time is your alarm clock set for? 7:45 AM
5. How many suitcases do you own? 1
6. Do you wear flip flops outside when it's cold out? no, can't say that I do
7. Are you having a good day? so far, absolutely
8. What was the last movie you watched? Multiplicity
9. Do any of your friends have children? yes
10. Who is your bestfriend? Jessica
11. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? maybe Nyquil, if I'm congested or coughing a lot
12. What cd is currently in your cd player? Craig David
13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Chocolate, all the way baby!
14. Has anyone told you a secret this week? Yes
15. When was the last time someone hit on you? Um, actually a guy hit on me at work the other day *awkwardness*
16. can you whistle? Yes, but not that insanely loud two-fingers-in-the-mouth dealy
17. Who was the last person to text you? Jessica
18. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? I know they do (but its all good).
19. Did you watch cartoons as a child? Hell yes ... still do *giggles*
20. How many siblings do you have? zilch
21. Are you shy around the opposite sex? No way, most of my friends are girls
22. What movie do you know every line to? Home Alone, Playing By Heart
23. What is the 4th text message on your CELL PHONE? Um, I don't remember (I lost my phone and now I have a new one)
24. What is your favorite salad dressing? Jamaica Mistake
25. Do you read for fun? Do blogs count ... if so, YES
26. Do you do your own dishes? Often, usually my roommate and I do our dishes together
27. Have you ever cried in public? At school twice (once because I was pushed down the stair and then once because a girl I liked asked out some dude right in front of me) ... does that count?
28. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Desktop
29. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? I have 2 piercings
30. What is the weather like? its kinda cloudy now, but its supposed to be sunny later
31. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? I love naked, natural flesh so I'd have to give it some serious thought
32. Do you have an online journal? Um, you are reading my blog so ... YES!
33. When was the last time you slept on the floor? I fell asleep in the living room last week, but I woke up like an hour later and crawled into my bed.
34. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? at least 7, if not more
35. Do you eat breakfast daily? nah, sometimes granola bars though
36. Are your days full and fast-paced? sometimes
37. Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class? yes, I sure did
38. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of package? sometimes I read the package, but I rarely pay attention
39. When was the last time you drove in a car for over 2 hours? That would be moving out of dorms (I had stuff in Courtenay that I had to go fetch)
40. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? Yes
41. Have you ever been to Six Flags? No
42. Do you often dream when you sleep? I dream all the time, I just don't usually remember what I'm dreaming about
43. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? Opposite, although they usually only think of me as a friend. Gah.
44. Do you like mustard? Honey Mustard all the way
45. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? side, one hand under my pillow
46. Last person who called you? Advisor from Mal-U

PART 2

1) Single, taken or crushin? Uh, I guess "crushin'"
2) Are you happy with where you are? Not so much, but things are looking up
3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast? Y-E-S
4) Have you ever had your heart broken? Who hasn't ... my answer is yes
5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where you find cheating acceptable? No, cheating is never okay
6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I am a forgiver, so I probably would
7) Have you talked about marriage with another person? Sure, but only as a joke
8) Do you want children? Yes
9) How many? at least 3
10) Would you consider adoption? yes, definately
11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think a cool way to let you know would be? I have to agree with some else's answer: Just be sitting around and suddenly ask " Do you know what?" and then kiss me ... that would be pretty sweet.
12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get ? No ... what the hell is with guys and the thrill of the chase? The chase sucks because you never actually know if she is interested or not. Gaaah!!
13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating? I hate games ... relationships are for honesty and loyalty only
14) Do you believe love at first sight existsts? Yes
15) Are you romantic? Totally and hopelessly
16) Do you believe you can change someone? No and I wouldn't want to ... people should like each other for who they already are!
17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object, where would it be? barefoot on a sandy beach
19) Do you easily give in when you are fighting? Not at first ... but eventually yeah I do.
20) Do you have feelings for someone right now? yes
21) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you didn't take advantage of your opportunity? Thats my life story.
22.) Have you ever broken a heart? Yes
23.)What will happen if you come home and find another person in bed with your significant other? Our relationship would be over. Thats it. No going back.
24.) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other? Hmm, I would definately defend my significant other
25.) What would you say your boyfriend/girlfriend does better now than your last ex and what did your last ex do better than boyfriend/girlfriend now? Well, there isn't really anybody now so I have no answer *sigh*

PART 3:

1. Hometown: Barrie, Ontario
2. Height: 5' 2"
3. Hair color: Dark Blonde
4. Hair length: Short
5. Hair style: right now, faux-hawk
6. Eye color: Blue
7. Shoe size: 8.5
8. Mood: Anxious, excited
9. Sexuality: Straight
10. cell phone: LG 1410 (ugh)

10 LOVELIFE
1. Have you ever been in love: No. Have I ever been in like? Yes
2. Do you believe in love?: Yes. Love can move mountains, and all that mushy stuff
3. Why did your last relationship fail?: she couldn't let go of her ex-boyfriend
4. Have you ever been heartbroken?: yes, too many times
5. Have you ever broken someones heart?: yes
6. Have you ever fallen for your best friend: mmm ..... yes
7. Are you planning on getting married?: one day, for sure
8. Are you afraid of commitment?: no, not at all. nobody has given me the opportunity to prove it though
9. Would you ever get married to someone of the same sex?: uh, no.
10. Would you ever have sex with someone of the same sex? like someone else said, not unless there was something extraordinary happening

Other
1. Love or lust?: Love, usually threads into and out of lust.
3. Night or day?: night (stars + sandy beach = amazing)
4. Hook-ups or relationship?: Relationships
5. Tv or internet?: TV
6. Pepsi or coke?: Coke
7. Wild night out or romantic night in?: Romantic night in
8. Saturday or Sunday?: Wednesday/Thursday (my days off)
9. Colored or black and white picture?: if we are talking photos, B+W definately
10. Phone or in person?: in person, all the way

into dust Wednesday, July 19, 2006 |

crash and burn. thats the only why I can describe it. i've worked so hard these last few months to improve myself and grasp the inner self-confidence that has eluded me for as long as i can remember. and now, fuck. i cannot stand myself. my skin crawls. i'm completely exhausted. what brought about this horrid state of mind, you ask? losing my $300 cell phone, after have it for exactly two months. i now have no phone at all, which is worse, in my mind than having lost my phone to begin with. a man without a phone, of one form or another, is the lowest of the low. and now that man is me. fantastic.

it gets better, too. a replacement phone will cost me no less than one hundred dollars.

fuck that.

mood: pessimistic, angry
music: Nickelback, 'Too Bad'